When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. Isaiah 43:2

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Having Babies

Having babies is the most miraculous thing God has ever let me be a part of. I can't believe that a small person grows inside me and then bloop! There it is, a living child, part of our lives forever...

The whole experience is the most intense, exciting, anxiety-producing, joy-filled, wonderful, painful, focused endeavor...it's just indescribable really.

And soon, I will be part of that for the last time. I have many friends going through this final triumph as well. It is the end of an era, the beginning of something new, but the knowledge that this amazing experience will never happen again...well, it causes me to pause.

It causes me to take account of the miraculousness...and stop worrying so much about laundry, dishes, vacuuming, mopping (and my oh my has that built up the past few days!)...because there is something bigger here. There is the presence of life creation. There is an almost-ready-to-meet-the-world little girl brewing.

The excitement of her arrival sometimes takes my breath away.

The realization that the breathlessness of this process will not happen again...causes me to want to make time stop.

As my body continues on as a ticking time bomb (I always feel this way as the grand entrance approaches), I am hesitant to even nest...this is the last time I will do it and once it begins, my mind will be focused on tasks instead of on being. I want everything to be perfect...and yet, I know it doesn't matter one iota where the changing table is or what outfits she is wearing when she comes home.

New life...that is something bigger than all of us, something none of us fully comprehend. I am going to try to breathe it in, feel every kick and wriggle, appreciate every pain and discomfort...for this is new life...inside me.

She could go anywhere and do anything in the next 80+ years and it all begins right here...in this lowly unworthy, PBJ eating, Diet Pepsi-drinking body...

Having babies has been the most cherished thing I have ever done. Raising babies will be one of the hardest. Cheers to us all who are moving on from baby-makers to baby-raisers, and all those who are in between! It's been such an amazing ride...


Lynette said...

I love this post Tara! I can't wait to meet the newest little Haner baby girl!

Janna said...

Great post Tara!! Sending you our best labor and delivery wishes from over here!! Congrats again!

Raquel, The Glamorous Life said...

ahhh seasons.... so bittersweet ehhh?? i love having babies well i love the baby stage newborns are my favorite age ever!