When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. Isaiah 43:2



Monday, January 4, 2010

The Death of Our Dream...

Ok, that sounds a little dramatic, but seriously. Here's how the story goes...

Scott and I dreamed a little dream of moving to the country. The first home we found that was affordable and on acreage didn't work out, for a million reasons... parents hated the idea, it was next to a big ol' dump, questionable water supply, blah blah blah, but we loved it.

THEN, the chance of a lifetime came; a lease of land at the ranch where we work in the summers with an acre or two, a mobile home, no need to break the bank to get set up, and the parents were OK with the idea! It was in a homeschooling mecca of sorts with several great homeschooling families nearby and LOTS of outdoor activities (archery, a lake, climbing wall, tons of animals, etc. etc.) Scott and I were so convinced this was it!

We planned everything around this place. We prayed over the land weekly, sometimes daily. I'm embarrassed to say I even took a little dirt in a glass jar to put on the counter and pray over at home. We brought our family out to survey the land. We took our compost out in the middle of the land and turned it in with our very own shovels, we contemplated where the trees should be planted in relation to the one day dream home we would build...

We emailed and spoke to the owner, who has become a friend in the past few years, about some details, he said it was just a matter of time before our dream became a reality!!! And he hoped Scott could manage some of the rentals at their ski ranch property next door! Double hurray!!!

We planned some more. We spent date nights talking about the potential ups and downs of country living.

We emailed the owners a couple more questions...we bought a trailer hitch (that didn't fit)...

...and we waited...a month...the owner emailed back and answered our questions, but didn't give us any kind of time frame.

We emailed him again (the plan wasn't to go into effect until summer anyway, so no hurry)...we refinanced our home so we could more easily find renters to cover the mortgage while we lived the country life.

and we waited...another month...and a half...

So, Sunday, before church, Scott checked his email, thinking nothing would be there--still...then says to me, "Ready to start the year off with some bad news?"

...and there it was...an email indicating the owner could no longer commit to our discussed plans and had hit a rough patch which would require him to sell the land in question for other purposes...

The end.

Sad story, huh? Except, I don't feel too sad strangely. I feel a little relieved. I feel like we can sink our resources and mental energy into this home now and really focus our energy here. I still think we are destined for country living one day, but for now, here we are...and here we will make the best of things. And who knows what woes God is protecting us from through this little turn of events? Romans 8:28 means ALL news is good news for those that love Him, right?

And here's where I got a little selfish...I hadn't even considered until now that our focus should be the owner and his family not our own silly "plans." What kind of rough patch must they be in to have to sell their beloved land? So, we are praying for them, and trying to keep some perspective about all this...after all, we have a fine home with healthy kids, and plenty of food...and only 1600 sq. ft. to clean, 8,800 sq. ft. to farm. Perhaps God intends for us to use our time in a more focused, non-overwhelming way with baby four on the way...

I look forward to birthing a new dream and letting this one go...after a sufficient mourning period of course.

4 comments:

Rossie said...

uuuummmm....move to Montana silly ;) We miss you and love you and are praying for the dreams God is going to allow come to fruit for you! Maybe that was all preparation for the MUCH BIGGER plan!!
Love ya, Rossie

brooke said...

I have goosebumps reading your story because it is parallel to what happened to me and my husband last year--with finding the "perfect" home, putting our home on the market--having it not work out after months of waiting and in the end, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that it wasn't meant to be our home and relieved that it didn't work.

I know God has a plan for each of us and sometimes I just want His plan to be the same as my plan! You have great perspective. We are now fixing up our current home and preparing for #4 as well.

We really do live parallel lives.

Crunchy Christian Mom said...

Oh, wow. I've got the same dream... but I've never gotten quite so close. I'm still hoping maybe after the kids are grown, we'll follow them to wherever they settle and buy land there, close to potential grandkids!

In the meantime, I've finally learned to love where I am. And it looks like we're neighbors! :)

Crunchy Christian Mom said...

So funny -- I'll bet we've even met, your and name is familiar. :) I went to VBF years and years ago. Who's blog did you find me through?