When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. Isaiah 43:2

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Real Life

I had to take this picture quickly (myself) before I ruined my makeup by crying, washing off spit up, getting dusty and dirty outside, or sweating. And I had to show off my hair because I actually got my hair done yesterday for the first time in over a year...maybe two!
Ok, I'm a teensy bit tired of folks believing that our life is 100% perfect all the time. And I really don't want anyone to have the misconception that this life is easy or that I do it well.

Having four small children is hard. Waaaaaaay harder than law school or the Bar exam. There was no prep course, no manual, not even an outline to follow. I wing it! And I fail a lot.
Having a beautiful big house to clean up every day is hard. Having 2 1/2 acres and sprinklers for miles and a pool with a deck and two porches, well, it is a lot of work. And I don't always do it! And I've come to realize that's OK.
I love it all, but I am often sleepy, or irritable and I often cut corners on everything from dressing my children (boys don't need shirts, right?) to cleaning the kitchen (no one can really see UNDER the table, can they?).
I spend the day with the children...Addie cries unless she is held, sleeps minimally during the day and spits up like it is her job.
I stay up most nights until at least 11, sometimes one or two, cleaning and organizing for the next day. I "get up" some time between 4:30 and 5:30 AM, depending on when Addie nurses last and then I hit the shower. There are often other kiddos needing me between the time I "go to" bed and when I "get up" for the day as any mom of young kids knows. So I sleep 3-5 hours a night.

Sometimes there is one child in the bathroom with me when I shower, sometimes all four. My showers are SHORT.

I still smell bad most of the time.
I read the Bible every morning...sometimes three words, sometimes three pages...it is my lifeline.

The laundry has not been done in weeks except when my in-laws took pity on me and did five loads. Our dryer works sporadically, so I do laundry less and less because I find myself wanting to kick it a lot and who needs to fill their days with that kind of hatred?
There is a promise floating around here that a Lowe's delivery man may bring me a sparkly new dryer today though and I am hopeful!

Wyatt runs around with his pants backwards, his underwear sticking out of the top, his shoes on the wrong feet and did I say no shirt? Well, most of the time, no shirt (refer to aforementioned laundry shortage.) He has a goofy smile all the time and really likes to poke and hit things with big sticks...and there are a LOT of big sticks here.

Kya looks beautiful all the time and is a great little gal with LOTS of clothes (so the laundry shortage doesn't affect her much.) But sometimes, she goes days without a bath or any semblance of conditioner in her hair and it gets pretty ratty. She bites her nails, so at least I don't have to worry about cutting her nails. Bonus! :) I forget to give her Singulair sometimes and she coughs and says her throat hurts, which reminds me to give it to her again...that makes me feel really bad.
Kya also sleeps anywhere and everywhere. She's flexible when Caden falls asleep horizontally on her bed because the parents haven't enforced bedtime in over a month...she just moves to the couch. She does all her school work for the week in a day and spends the rest of the week helping out around here and playing make believe. She has a great imagination--in her dollhouse world, there is much less chaos.
Kya reminds me that eating five brownies will make my tummy hurt. I am thankful for that.

I cannot even see the bottom of my closet.

We eat a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

The baby is crying again so I gotta run, but I really just wanted to share a slice of life for those of you who keep sending me messages exalting me as some sort of mothering messiah. It is not so. But, I am happy in this chaos, and I know that I know, that God is with me every crazy step of the way, so that's worth a lot.
And being happy really is a choice (as my friend Callie recently reminded me) and that is 90% of the daily battle won if you can keep a smile on your face!


Cindy said...

I loved this!!
Thanks for sending me a little glimpse of your crazy...I needed to know I was not alone today!!!
Enjoy the day

Raquel said...

i was just going to post something similar, i mean not similar to your life since i dont have chickens, or a newborn or land but you know what i mean lol. i love you friend!

brooke said...

I just adore you. First, your picture is beautiful. Addie is so darling with all that hair you and look amazing.

This post made me smile. I relate to sooo much of it. I had to let go of the control thing and be okay with the mess and 90% of the time I am and then it drives me crazy and I spend a whole day just yelling and picking up....but I do a little better the next day.

I agree that motherhood (or smotherhood) is much harder than law school and the Bar exam combined. It was all about me back then.....I didn't appreciate it!

Lots of love! Keep up the good work.

Lynette said...

So I absolutely love this! I love you too friend, you are always so real and you are a wonderful mommy and wife. Ellie was a lot like sweet baby Addie,lots of crying, not a lot of sleep and a fair amount of spit up! She was my first though so I am sure that made it easier, no other babies to take care of.