My Truths

As I stood in the very hot water of my sister-in-law's beautiful stone-tiled shower, I had a few moments of peace this weekend. In those brief moments, I had an epiphany of sorts.

Every mom has certain truths about herself and her family that can make it or break it. For me, I realized, those two things are very simple:

1) If I have enough sleep, I am a better parent, wife, friend, and person; and

2) If I get up before my children, take a shower, get dressed, greenish grayish hair done and face made up (not like I'm going clubbin', but a little foundation, a little mascara and a swipe of bronzer and lip gloss), have some hot water, tea or coffee (pregnancy dependent), and some moments in Bible Study or other inspirational reading, I am a better wife, parent, friend and person for the rest of the day.

So, once I discovered these two truths, in that peaceful, beautiful hot hot shower, I thought to myelf, "These two things are simple and yet I have not made any effort to ensure that every day has these two things in it. That's not very smart...and I am a smart lady darn it!"

So i thought about what the common denominator is in making these things happen...

That's easy, and so I'm not sure why I didn't think of it before--maybe I did and wasn't disciplined enough to implement it. Maybe I've just been too lazy and tired the last few years to really commit to bedtime enforcement (my Achilles' heel as a parent.)

The simple answer is that both require me to put my children to bed consistently at 8:00PM so that I can go to bed by 9:00PM (9:30 at the latest). This will ensure enough sleep for me and the ability to get up when that alarm wakes me up at 5:00AM (maybe 5:15) for my own quiet time and self-preparation.

What are your truths? What are the things you KNOW will make you a better mom, wife, friend or parent each day? Have you implemented the simple changes you know would help? Well, maybe if you can pray for me to be strong enough to implement bedtime (and I really need help with this because I'm a big ol' softy) then I can pray for you to do something powerful and meaningful (and probably pretty simple) for you and your family!

Blessings fellow travelers!

Blog Reflections on a Day

Sometimes I feel like I am really funny when I am blogging. I laugh at myself, which is awesome because my husband reminds me daily that I am really not as funny as I think I am. He is a great humbling force in my life...for which I am truly thankful. :)

Sometimes I feel serious and contemplative when I am blogging, which leads me to find irony or deep meaning in daily events.

Today, I am tired. My sweet kiddos did not sleep much the past two nights (and mommy stayed out waaaay too late at Christmas Bunco on Monday night (and drank caffeinated iced tea there like a BIG dope so I couldn't even sleep when I did get home)).

So, here are some reflections from this tired mommy on this day of sick kids in no particular order (list format stolen from Jennifer at "for the praise of his name"):

• "Light ash blond" on the box can actually mean grayish light greeny brown;


• One year olds cannot be left alone, ever;


• Brothers and sisters who are close in age CAN be great friends and comrades;


• Husbands who smile at you even after a hard day and even when you have grayish green brown hair are priceless;


• Facebook is not for the undisciplined;


• Wash poopy clothes in hot water to kill germs;


• If you know you are going to be nauseous and tired from noon on, get all the things that require standing done BEFORE 11:30;


• A nice clean cuddly child can erase hours of grumpiness;


• Friends who are honest about themselves and their struggles are a treasure;


• God is with us even when we don't feel Him or acknowledge Him, but He'd rather we acknowledge Him.


• When I go through the day without acknowledging Him, I have a hard time snapping out of a grumpy mood; and


• I am so thankful for other blogging moms who provide endless encouragement, advice, ideas, and research, to challenge me to make my mommyhood exceptional rather than just tolerable.

That's all for now. All our children are sleeping, which means early to rise. Blessings from this preggo sleepy thankful mommy.

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Learning, Enduring and Becoming A Patient SAHM

So, one of the few things a stay at home mom does that is "measurable" is keep house. A measure isn't really necessary, but for my personality, I just want to be able to look around and SEE something I did. Kids don't really work that way...Sometimes I can smell that they are clean after a bath or observe that they have learned something I taught them, but it's not the same. No one ever really looks at my kids and says, oh Tara must have done X Y and Z today.

In my previous life, everything I did was measurable, by praise from superiors, bonuses, salary, grades on tests, etc. This life is very different and I think about that a lot. I like to have something to show for my day. Parenting requires a selflessness I'm not sure I will ever possess though I am learing every day to sacrifice more of myself and actually enjoy this. I am not quite there yet.

Lately, in my enlarged state (only one more month!!!), I haven't been keeping up with housework and it has really been bumming me out...so much so that last night after husband's well-meaning comment, I sat in the garage (for surely no one would look for me there) and cried. Why did I cry exactly? The well-meaning comment indicated something along the lines that he was glad we had gotten to a point where we were "OK" with a lower standard of cleanliness in the house--this after he spent some time at a neighbor's "spotless home" (did I mention she has two children under four as well?). He couldn't have known I have spent countless hours this month scouring books, magazines, and blogs for helpful hints on keeping a home organized with little kids, or that I had just that day made a cleaning chart (AGAIN) to help keep me on track with laundry, meals, and household cleaning. He couldn't have known because I don't like to tell him when I am feeling unworthy or subpar--I just reasearch and fix it.

Only, this time, I have been researching and trying to fix it for a loooong time...without much improvement.

Here are some of the selfish thoughts I had while I was crying:

1. I have been trying to figure out this balance of cleaning/household management/parenting/playing/teaching/menu planning/ministry/time for "self"/time for God as a stay home mom for over three years. I am NEVER gonna figure this out;

2. I am hopelessly lazy and undisciplined and will never be able to keep house like my friends;

3. How in the world am I gonna ever get better at this with THREE little babies running around the house? I just got used to two!

4. Why am I the only one who feels like this?

So, after my little pity party, I realized that most of these questions are not all together rational and that I am nine months pregnant and probably a little hormonal and that I need to cut myself a little slack. But I also got some great perspective as I scoured the kitchen til 11 PM.

Kids make messes. I can help them learn to clean them up, but I can't prevent them. If I did prevent them, I would not be a very good parent and my kids would be terrified of playing and enjoying themselves. I don't want that. But, I also don't Wyatt to someday tell his wife what a horrible housekeeper his mom was...so I am looking for balance.

I am no longer crying about it. Scott let me sleep in this morning (until 7:45!!!) and I got a nap...and it's cooler outside. But I still want the house to be clean, and I'm still gonna work on getting better at balance...and realize that these issues in the scheme of "troubles" are pretty minor. We have our health, a house, our family and friends, financial stability. This is when the reader should say, "Quit your moanin' and get on with it!"

Thanks for reading.

Isaiah 40:28-31 NKJV Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. {29} He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. {30} Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, {31} But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

My Sweet Truth About Being a SAHM

There are no words to express the sweet joy of being a SAHM ("Stay At Home Mommy" for those of you unfamiliar with mommy web speak). I am absolutely unable to fully convey to my husband how wonderful and amazing he is for allowing me the opportunity to be home with the babies each and every day while he works so hard to make a comfortable life for us.

Each day he ventures into the world of teenage angst and educational indifference (high school) to attempt the seemingly impossible task of loving, empowering, edifying and clarifying geometrical proofs and algebraic equations to generally apathetic high school 10th-12th graders.

I, on the other hand, get to smell the sweet scent of baby shampoo on my babies' skin after every bath, watch Wyatt smile and laugh while Kya jumps and dances around the living room, keep a tidy (as much as is possible at this life stage) home filled with good meals, good smells, and fun sounds, and watch our kids grow up being little mirrors of us instead of someone else.

I have no issue with working women--nor do I ever judge or think badly of daycare or its many alternatives. I am just SO glad to not have to think about any of those things as I watch our children develop language, math, and social skills that reflect our family values (as much as is possible within the self-centered mind of a two year old and the exploration of an almost-walking seven month old!)

Thank you Lord and thank you husband for this wonderful opportunity.